there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
