he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
