I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
