Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize