my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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