I saw his package. It spoke to me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
