Grow some girl-balls and come out already
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
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She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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