wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
