In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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