This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
