He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
