I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
