When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
