How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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