Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
