even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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