glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
