He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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