Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Randomize
