C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
