One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
