And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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