I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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