Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He felt like a one man threesome
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
