there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
