Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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