I look better un-naked...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
