physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
