we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i love accidental penises.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
