You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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