I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
