called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
