Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
