Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I love you. Go after that dick
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
