hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
