did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
