Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
