she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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