listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
