you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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