I'm gonna have a badass scar
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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