I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
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