i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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