I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize