he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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