I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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