Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
