Need sex. Gaining weight.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
