I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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