is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
