my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
