he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize