the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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