Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
