Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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