what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
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just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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