I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
