he puts the penis in happiness.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
