You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
