what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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