What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
